Like this:

Occasionally articles pop up on yahoo or other news sources about failing marriages caused by video games, or the ways that these marriages games were “saved.” The usual scenario occurs like this: wonderful and loving wife finds her spouse playing video games for ungodly amounts of time. She tries to get him to quit or play less but with no avail. Finally at some breaking point – she either asks for divorce or finds some way to solve the problem.

These articles and scenarios drive me nuts for many reasons. First, the way most of these articles are set up make the wife an admirable figure that is being wronged. Second, the husband is seen as something passive. As a wife of a gamer, there have been many times when I was upset with my spouse for playing too many video games. But I am far from the wronged victim and he is far from the passive agent.

Men who play video games are not passive. The way the story sets up the dichotomy is just plain sexist. Video games, like any other form of entertainment, are fun. While I do agree that there can be personalities that might get addicted to them, I think that people should approach their spouse as someone who is engaging is pleasurable entertainment and not in some addictive exercise.

Rather than approaching the situation as “he isn’t doing what I want him to do,” we need to find a different way, a more realistic way of approaching the problems. Calling something an addiction is easy because it excuses the participant, makes the wife the victim and puts the evil on some external source. By calling something an addiction, the wife can “solve” the problem, not by working with the husband and the game, but by getting the husband to give up the game. While this might work for biological addictions like drugs and alcohol – the video game needs to be approached differently. It isn’t a biological issue it is a relationship issue.

Advertisement